Day 301

10:30AM:

My treatise on the word FUCK:

It has the ability to give power to something otherwise powerless: ___ you, just does not have the same impact.

It shows passion, feeling, motivation (or in some cases, degrees of inebriation): want to ___?

It brings two loving people together, intertwines them; it shows them another dimension of their relationship, demonstrates to their universe and their’s alone, their vividness; it becomes a part of them and makes their passion manifest: (really, you need an explanation?)

It gives anger and frustration a voice, one that amplifies them and to the sayer, retains its shock-value – its emphasis – evermore, until the anger and frustration are no longer, until the precipice is no longer in view, until the never-forgotten memory fades just enough, until that voice is not a part of my life…

It represents belief, belief that’s more than faith and hope, because it is a call to arms, a care in action: fuck you evil mind (if you’re tired of starting over, stop giving up – seriously, what the fuck?!), because penguins can fucking fly and the blackness will never fucking win – yippie ki-yay motherfucker.

Day 242, Relearning continued

10PM:

As I lay me down to sleep (fuck off, I know it’s early, but recovery – and a four hour marking fest – is exhausting), and I read my book without any of the voices not written by the author, I think: I might be a little hungry right now. And the little bear inside, innocent and reflective of a very wise penguin, says: too tired… can always eat a little more tomorrow.

Ha blackness, you didn’t even whisper. Recovery and bears and penguins are awesome.

Day 237

10AM:

While we work out a plan – the lines for reclaiming healthy – we must remember and not lose sight.  Ultimately, we are reclaiming healthy through love – that’s what it’s always been about.  Love is beautiful.  Love is unicorns.  Love is penguins.  Love is bears.

Reclaiming healthy through love and bears and and unicorns and penguins – those are colours that are beautiful enough to outshine even the darkest corners of the blackness.