Day 326

10:30AM:

As we sat down to breathe for a half hour yesterday, my wife comforted me, telling me that I get misunderstood, that I’m a complex person.  I would say that I’m complicated.  I would say that I am difficult.  I would say that I am not easy (but nothing beautiful ever is…).

However, I would argue that I’m not all that complex.  Maybe in the world we live in, maybe here, I am complicated.  But complex, difficult to understand?  I would argue no.

My philosophy is not complex.  It is quite simple actually: strive to be the best version of me possible – with strength and respect – by helping and caring for others, loving ferociously and doing the most good I possibly can do.

It is why I was relieved to find out that my Boss had to go official based on Friday.  She did not ignore my feelings purposefully and even though I have a wealth of evidence to the contrary, the best version of me possible right now is framing this ignorance as having to go the official route and not out of sheer ignorance or frosty workplace philosophy.  Wearing my heart on my sleeve makes this emotional relief complicated, but it is not complex – I love, I hurt; I tilt at the windmills others ignore, knowing there are giants hiding behind them.

As the drug store cashier put it yesterday when I bought a $0.75 box of fancy Kleenex for my girl, as a just cause for the woman I love, “Wow, you’re simple!”

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