Day 309

6:30PM:

It is not easy right now – being Don, or playing Don, or taking on the mantle of Don for just a little while; working in “hell hole high” (thanks Old Department Head for that); 25 days in a row.

I can choose to focus on the soul-sucking nature of things, the universal kick in the balls that is served up much too often, the blackness-driven Mack truck that leaves skid marks all over the fucking place.  I can choose to focus on the thought that goes through my mind when I see the “Be Kind to Animals, Don’t Eat Them” bumper sticker.  I can choose to focus on that thought, the thought of, “well, shit; they eat people alive at my school, fuck even being kind to them.”  I could choose to focus on the FUCK of the universe.

I can choose to focus on the soul-satisfying nature of things, the universal kiss that is served up much too infrequently, but driven at the most opportune of times.  I can choose to focus on the much-too-ecstatic Starbucks barista to whom I gave a $5 tip (I was going to pay for my latte with it, but the latte came to $5 and change, so I had to pay debit; I put it in their tip jar figuring that I didn’t need the $5 since I had already mentally parted with it, and more importantly, the IAN would make his day, especially after dealing with all the much-too-anal-retentive techie fuckers who lined up for the new Apple iPhone right outside his store).  I can choose to focus on the STARS’ song on the radio, “Hold On When You Get Love and Let Go When You Give It”:

There’s been a lot of talk of love
But that don’t amount to nothing
You can evoke the stars above
But that doesn’t make it something

And the only way to last
And the only way to live it
Is to hold on when you get love,
And let go when you give it… give it.

It’s a pretty melody
It might help you through the night time
But it doesn’t make it easy
To leave the party at the right time

If I’m frightened, if I’m high
It’s my weakness please forgive it
At least I hold on when I get love,
And I let go when I give it… give it… give it.

What do I do when I get lonely?
What do I do?
Hold on when you get love,
What do I do when I get lonely?
What do I do?
Hold on when you get love.
What do I do when I get lonely?
What do I do?
And you let go when you give it.
What do I do?

The world won’t listen to this song
And the radio won’t play it
But if you like it sing along
Sing ’cause you don’t know how to say it

Take the weakest thing in you
And then beat the bastards with it
And always hold on when you get love,
So you can let go when you give it.

Take the weakest thing in you
And then beat the bastards with it
And always hold on when you get love,
So you can let go when you give it… give it… give it.

What do I do when I get lonely?
What do I do?
Hold on when you get love
What do I do when I get lonely?
What do I do?
And you let go when you give it
What do I do when I get lonely?
What do I do?
Hold on when you get love
What do I do?

I know it’s true, please don’t think I do
Nothing that you say or do will make you love me
Forget the song, things will go on
I keep seeing you from the dark with you above me

I know it’s true, please don’t think I do
Nothing that you say or do will make you love me
Forget the song, things will go on
I keep seeing you from the dark with you above me

Take the weakest thing in you
And then beat the bastards with it
And always hold on when you get love,
So you can let go when you give it.
Give it… give it… give it… give it… give it… give it.

could choose to focus on the moments of happy that the universe provides in our times of need.  I will choose to fuck the blackness and choose to focus on the moments of happy that the universe provides in our times of need.

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