Day 277

8:30AM:

A cool thing happened yesterday morning while standing in the shower, trying to wake up from the restless sleep (not my fault, not incited by drinking too much, but by my “cats away, mice will place” Quebecois roommate… fucking sales people).  It inspired this, Greatist’s August Self-Care Challenge for the day: “Write a thank you note.”

 

August 18, 2014

Dear my love,

 

On Saturday, I had the genius idea to barrel through the exhaustion, save a giant chunk of money, get out of dodge a day early (ok, so “genius” might be stretching it a little bit).  I told you that afternoon, once we’d figured out the logistics, which obviously made you happy (cautious, given the midnight-ish return – and we both know how that worked out at the end of July!).

It was then that you told me that you’d secretly planned to take the second half of Tuesday off.  In the past, even with my belief and faith, my head would have gone towards selfish motives or immature scatteredness or purely emotional or uncomfortably inattentive – love, but not care – since that was my experience.

Now for the thank you part.

Here is where the cool thing clicks in: my head didn’t go there in the shower.  My head instead went directly to “you must be taking the time off to get the house ready, preparing it as a home.”  These acts of care, these elements of awareness and attentiveness – even if just suppositions or potentials, even if I am wrong – made me feel warm and loved, not uncomfortable or on edge.  They made me feel cared about by you.

Thank you my love.  Thank you because even if I am wrong, I want to believe that I am right, that my faith is justified, that my belief has spread to you, that you are acting like you believe = your recovery, your reclaiming healthy, your vividness.

 

Love forever-ever,

Me

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