Day 255

6PM:

Barely enough energy to see straight or piss straight, let alone think or act straight.  No Tao of Pooh – will get there some day (as rivers know).  Sorry, best I’ve got are random thoughts (and bad metaphors)…

Three days = three successful days of reclaiming breakfast, lunch, dinner – never eating too much and never eating too little.  Today wasn’t so great, which we knew it wouldn’t be.  But as my lunch from the gorgeous Gorilla Food demonstrated…

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…just because it looks fucked up, doesn’t mean it is (damn, did that Great Gorilla Salad ever taste good!).

On day three, didn’t over-drink = just had one and that was all – could be attributed to…

That being said, feel like crap – bloated (yesterday’s ill), tired, sleepless, restless, senseless, fatigued beyond belief.  Blackness little louder than is tolerable as a result.  Good news though = didn’t have to cram a bunch of food into me to “fill the numbers” – could skirt on yesterday and my body/nature would figure it out.

Still worry about eating too much/too little at each meal.  Just finished some fruit and chocolate as a snack and worried a shit-ton about the chocolate – maybe this is about realizing that physical signs of hunger (tummy grumbling) are not the only ones of note.  There is also (as today and yesterday have shown, since more than coffee or alcohol, fatigue kills my physical signs of appetite), other signs of hunger: being a dick, distractability and lack of concentration, over-thinking about food or counting or if it’s enough (like the fruit-chocolate demonstrated), light-headedness (shouldn’t get to this) and falling asleep or excessive fatigue.  Still learning…

Got a few more days of running on fumes, then I get to rest for 48 hours (long enough to get sick), before I’m back “on.”  Mom appreciated me being there though.  Mom needed me there though.  So fatigued or not, I am happy to be stuck in an airport waiting to go home to my girl and glad I got to be the swiss army knife again.

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