Day 205

9:30PM:

This morning with my nephew on his birthday (dressing up like superheroes and taking him out for pancake breakfast, where the little man had more maple syrup than anyone should consume in a week) just made everything better.  It made the rest of the day not matter as much: what I was eating, when I was eating, how much activity I was doing.  It’s just that, that was the key moment of the day.

And maybe that’s something I can learn from.  The fact that when my days have that shining moment, that looking up moment, the moment that makes breathing worthwhile for that specific day, that I don’t have to focus on food or any of that shit, because that key moment dominates.  That new moment, that element of love – whatever it is – that moment conquers the demons for that day, for that little while.  These moments of love drown out the blackness.  These are what I’ve been missing, these overwhelmingly patronus-like moments of love that repel the blackness and fight off the dementors in my head.

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