Work friend – a little run down and cynical, even for her – asked me whether or not I was surprised about the events of the last couple of days (to recap, my direct superior caring more about the superficial than the human being, caring more about being loud than about having substance, caring more about the superficial than about the genuine). Work friend went on (thus the aforestated cynicism comment) that finding validation in others is a losing battle. And she’s right – finding validation in the eyes of others is self-defeating. It degrades the importance of what you do, of who you are, and as such, they become less of you (a less you version of you) because it is not about what is truly important in the equation. Instead, it becomes about others, them and the selfish parts of you. To find intrinsic value means finding happiness beyond others’ validations, others shoulds.
However, life without others – that is not about finding validation. Life with others is about finding connection to their hearts. It’s about bringing value to your life, not giving away the value of you or what you do (as seeking their validation will do). Yes, it means opening up and inevitably getting hurt, especially where we work. But the alternative is hopeless, loveless – hell, I found her to care for and be cared about, found connection with her.
Hope and love, not hopeful for acceptance. Eyes wide open so even though the tears fall, I am able to see the love that is and the love that could be.