Day 178

2PM:

Today made no logical sense:

I shouldn’t have been as mentally calm today as I have been; I was able to sit on the couch with my third pot of tea (fuck you dentist and your gum-hacking criticism) and watch TV comfortably.

I shouldn’t have had the cats be as affectionate as they have been, given that they have food and water and a place to sit&shit; they must know that I need the support.

I shouldn’t have been able to run as well as I just did, given that I had a bottle of wine last night (yes, coping with the combined pains of wearing workplace and loneliness = Work Friend was right), stayed up (through headache/neckache/backache and all) after an exhausting day to be awake for my 2AM-arriving restaurant wife (I did it out of love and it had the intended effect), woke up to see a version of 6AM on the clock for the second consecutive weekend-day; however, I was able to run 5 miles in just over 7:30/mile, feeling unreasonably fresh after the fact.

And maybe that’s the point.  Sometimes, feeling good doesn’t have to be logical.  It doesn’t have to fit into a pattern or equation or simple math.  It also doesn’t have to be analyzed.  As much as I want to understand it so that I can repeat it, reclaim my healthy, my calm…

So with that in mind, there is no analysis to this post (maybe a little, since there is the Vitamin D factor that could have contributed).  I am going to focus not on analysis, but appreciation.

If tomorrow is tomorrow like tomorrows have been for a while, at least I’ve had today.

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