Day 137

8:45AM:

I just need a little reminder about this today, because things are really fucked up right now with work (people abandoning projects, leaving me holding the shit), home (my wife is working on finding her strength, realizing that she needs to be strong for us right now) and family (I don’t have one right now, the focus is on my brother and I am a source of animosity right now)…

Typically, I restrict in these moments.  Typically, I worry about the centimeter of flab that has increased around my waist (whether due to bourbon or shifting of fitness priorities from muscle-building to strength-building or being fucking crazy).  Typically, I make it about food and sitting down.

I can’t do that right now, I have too much to do and too little in my tank and in my support system to do it with.

So here we go:

Food is not the enemy, neither is it my only friend.

Hunger is not evil, nor is it something to be chased.

The clock does not dictate my eating day, but it must be respected and recognized to keep me on track.

Not ever being (overly) hungry, eating by the clock (when needed) and eating food frequently, these things will not make me fat nor does it dictate my worth.  It is okay to be satisfied, it is okay to not be exhausted.  These things are in fact good.  They will let me love.

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