Day 125

10AM:

I feel SPINNY,
Oh, so SPINNY,
I feel SPINNY and GUILTY and BROKEN!
And I ENVY
Anyone who isn’t me today.

I feel SELF-HARMING,
Oh, so SELF-SHAMING
It’s alarming how SELF-HARMING I feel!
And so SPINNY
That I hardly can believe I’m real.

See the SPINNY one STANDING in that mirror there:
Who can that one who can’t sit down be?
Such a SPINNY face,
Such SPINNY eyes,
Such a SPINNY frown,
Such a SPINNY me!

I feel SHAMED
And GUILTY,
Feel like STANDING and NOT SITTING DOWN,
ALTHOUGH I’m loved
By a pretty wonderful girl!

Thanks to West Side Story for the inspiration.  I think it’s pretty clear that the shame attacks with regards to sitting down are fucking hard to deal with today.

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