Day 91

9PM:

A few words on the event of today and my brother’s mental illness, words I wish someone told me once upon a time:

I know that wasn’t you tonight.  You are too kind for that, too empathetic, too caring.  That was your blackness – threatening me, hating me, screaming at me, disowning me.  The blackness in you, one that smiled at mine, that blackness was there in front of me.  So I will never leave; you may not see me, but I’ll be there every day.  I will be strong because the you that is love, that are the blackness has taken over temporarily, that you need me to be.  I love you always brother.

This is about my brother, but perhaps I could learn something from it = the blackness is not me.

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