Day 90

9:10PM:

Tonight was a looking up night.  Not spectacular in its events but bright in the seeing of things.  Kisses surpassed anxiety; kissing because of desire, not withdrawn due to fear of failed intimacy.  Food was just food, not counted, but enjoyed and discussed with my chef/foodie wife.

Tonight was a night appreciated, where things weren’t perfect by any means (the anxieties were still there about sex dates, intimacy and food), but I am glad tonight happened.  I looked up and got lost it in and enjoyed the minutes.

If tonight was my last night, I lived it in gratitude and appreciation.  I lived it loving the one I love.  I lived it looking up.

There was no recognition by us that today is six years to the day after we officially started; and yet, it was a gift of gratitude and appreciation from it.

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