Just a recap of some of today’s thoughts:
My wife is amazing and gung ho, on board with the self-therapy/acceptance piece of this. There is part of me that wants to be sure that she will always be holding the flashlight, that I won’t just be put down, but I don’t think I can have that security – not with the way that my head works and not with the things that have happened over the last year and a half. It will just have to be proven with time and love.
Some people are worth suffering for – some people are also worth asking to suffer with and for me. Christmas was good in showing who those people would/could be. I have had “nice, but not caring” at work, at home and now with family. Some people fall into this category naturally – self-indulgent wiener cousins and assorted relatives – but others surprised me. I have had that response from people who should be the closest to me and the time for it is gone. I deserve genuine emotion and overt acts of kindness, not just sentimental words (yeah, that’s you Family Friend). You claim to be on the boat; well, it’s time to paddle.