Did the decision to have sex with my wife come a lot easier after breakfast, or is it just my imagination? I got lost in her, in the act, more than I have in a while. We have gone longer between making love, but this felt quiet. The thinking stopped. The spinning that goes on 98% of the time slowed down enough for me to get lost in her. It was amazing. The result was the same for us, but my ability to get lost in it made it something more for me. I can’t remember the last time that happened – getting lost in her, in making love; riding the roller coaster, being a part of us; not being somewhere else. It felt like the start of that six-year-old image/moment I hold in my head, coming back from school to sit behind her and want to kiss the back of her neck. Not thinking about kissing her neck or why I was doing it, but just trusting that it was perfect for that moment and being in that moment with her.
I can only imagine how it will feel to find myself losing myself more often – I want to get that thoughtlessness back. Living in the moment feels so good.